Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
they're like a gay fantastic four
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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