Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize