note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
