Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He better not be in your backpack
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
