im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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