Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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