My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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