If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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