had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
where are my eyebrows?
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