Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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