he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize