the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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