I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
