perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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