Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
