bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
