I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
