THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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