are you still at the devil's house?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
