you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
