Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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