i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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