Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
