There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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