u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
