I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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