Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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