Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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