Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize