Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
