The brown eye won't let me do that either.
honey bunches of taint.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
