does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
