is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there's paper in my vomit.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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