Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
