do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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