I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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