do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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