i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
