i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
