I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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