I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize