is your mom at the bar?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
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I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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