I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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