one two three fourrrrnication!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
