why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
