if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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