Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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