Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize