haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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