We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
