So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
