im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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