you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
