we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
