before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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