Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
