it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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