Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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