Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
